A couple of weeks ago, Parker was watching the Disney Channel as I was cooking dinner. He called me into the room and I could see that he was certainly concerned about something. He pointed to the TV and asked, “Mom, what is that face thing on that boy’s head?”
Oooooh, the humor level of these TV shows. This particular program revolved around some teenaged wizards, and apparently a certain young man had scored a hot date to the school dance only to find – gasp – that a large pimple had erupted onto his forehead on the big day! (is it a requirement for all tween sitcoms to have a pimple episode?) But here is the kicker – this particular pimple had been bewitched by the magical teens, transforming it into a smart-aleck talking face zit. Oh yes, complete with a mustache. You with me?
So poor Parker is beyond confused as the wise-cracking pimple face is ruining the teenaged wizard boy’s special date with the hot chick. Right. But the point is, I had to try and explain to Parker what a pimple is. I try to keep things short and sweet with this kid, because he has a tendency to turn existential on my ass if I give him too much information.
“Parker, sometimes big kids get pimples if they don’t wash their faces and they get too dirty. But pimples don’t normally talk. Or have mustaches.”
He seemed satisfied by this explanation, so I didn’t think much more about it.
Until today. Sigh. As Parker climbed into our bed this morning and began politely demanding bagels with peanut butter, he stopped mid-sentence and I could just see the wheels turning in his little blonde head. He was staring at me in great concentration when suddenly, his eyes went wide and he exclaimed, “Mommy, mommy! Your face is dirty! Mom, you didn’t wash your face!”
(did you see that one coming?)
All day, Parker has remained fascinated with his mother’s, ahem, blemish. He has proudly announced to Matt that I didn’t wash my face and that I have a pimple (“See? See it?”) but not the talking kind like on the wizard show. So thank you, Disney Channel, for introducing my 3-year-old son to facial impurities, more specifically, mine.
And for the record, I DO wash my face. Frequently.
Edited to add: I just did some Google-ing and discovered that the show is Wizards of Waverly Place and that the aforementioned episode was called (you ready for this?) Pop Me and We Both Go Down.
“Justin’s date with the hot new older girl is threatened by a zit that Alex compounds by making it come to life.”
Commence gagging, now.